Saturday, September 13, 2008

Jack 'Jester' Warner

Yes you are. A clown.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

long awaited new post, and promise.

First of all I'd like to apologise for not updating as frequently as my loyal readers (a grand total of 2) would like it. And with this post I want to make a promise too, that's I'll update this space at the minimum once every week. It's going to be a nonsensical blog that's totally detached from my real life (I'm pretty serious when it comes to everyday life) and I strive to put a "pseudo-surrealism" (and occasionally sadistic) twist into what happens around me and what my pseudo-personality will think when it happens to him. Whatever I write here is not my personal view, it's the viewpoints of DJ deMarco, so find him if he wrote something that you do not agree with. You can write fan/hate mail to the following address:

DJ deMarco
Olav M. Troviks vei. 36
Oslo 0864, Norway

That's about as far as the disclaimer will go.

DJ deMarco's world

DJ deMarco (hereby represented by DJ dM) is now located in Oslo, Norway where he's doing his exchange program. Up till 6th August 2008, the furthest and longest he's been away from home is in Taiwan, where he spent 3 weeks with the millitary. The 5 months from 6th August will be a eye opener from all perspectives.

He's already been to Spain and seen the Mediterranean Sea and his first topless beach. DJ dM finds the Mediterranean Sea somewhat a disappointment as he thought he got a better deal looking at the Andaman Sea off the coast of Phuket, and he certainly did not enjoy looking at the sights of the topless beach, from the rotten bananas and rambutans to the ripe soursops, no, not even the young and fresh ones. Durians are to his flavour, but Europeans do not have a durian eating culture. It led him to think about aging issues that his home country is facing. In his opinion, the Caucasians face a more drastic aging process than most Asians. Some Asians look 40 when they are 60, most caucasians look 60 when they are only 40, poor thing? No, it's somewhat a tradeoff if you ask him, between 15-30, caucasian women look stunning most of the time, by the time they blow out their 30th candle, their best years are behind them. In contrast, Asian (namely East Asian) women tend to withhold their bloom until 18, and bloom for a long time, peaking probably in the late 30s. DJ dM feels good that he's spending his 23rd year on Earth in a caucasian country, and the rest of his life domiciled in the far east.

One weird thought floating around in the brain of DJ dM recently is the obsession with shaving the beards off old-looking beggars on the streets. Firstly, with the beard, it's very unhygienic, especially when these beggars usually do not have a home and proper showering facilities. Secondly, the facade that the beard gives them allows them to be more brazen when asking the public for money, fuelling the vicious cycle, condemning them to a life of begging. Thirdly, the beard obscures the beggars themselves from their real faces, if they wake up looking like a proper man, they might get a proper job.

When in foreign lands for extended periods, the most comforting thing is to have friends and family around to drive the loneliness away. On the other hand, close quarters living with friends with different sets of habits and routines formed over 20+ years under vastly different environments can prove to be a challenge. Accepting their weird habits, different way of doing things, different way of making decisions, making different decisions regarding the same matter are just the tip of the iceberg in close-quarters living. Give and take, some giving more, some taking more, maintaining the delicate balance, tailoring different reactions to pacify different personalities. Humans generally are not very gregarious, at critical moments, they either bind to their immediate loved ones, or roll up into a ball. On ship it's like this, and it's increasing looking like this here in Oslo. This is very tough, getting tougher, but what can't kill DJ dM makes him stronger right?

-kiam insert-
Curbs sacked. Good riddance? Well, I wasn't very sure about Curbs in the first place. Since Harry Redknapp left in '01, it's rumoured that the Hammers have started courting Alan. Glenn Roeder, then Alan Pardew, finally they got their man in '06. Is Alan really that good? the messiah that they say he is? Whatever it is, Harry Redknapp will always be remembered as the man who did not know how to use the future England squad (which manager knows how to use Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole, Carrick, Lampard and Defoe in one team please raise up your hands). In short, Red-faced Harry laid waste to our golden generation. Glenn Roeder brought us up to seventh heaven, and then had brain tumour the same season West Ham went down. Pardew brought us up from the Championship and played some average and occasionally brilliant football. Highs and lows were abound, catching the eye of the mega rich. Investments came in and with money, comes the initial instability, Pardew was booted because the Hammers were not good enough for the money spent. And finally, West Ham got their man, 6 years after they began showing their interest. Was it worth the wait? Imo, big fat no. Pards and Curbs were managers of the same mold, West Ham wasn't much better off with Curbs. With a managerial shortlist of Slavan Bilic, Gianfranco Zola, Roberto Donadoni and Michael Laudrup, I'm happy to say that we will not be replacing an apple with another apple. My first choice is Slavan Bilic, he has managed and done well at Croatia, and have played before at Upton Park, so he knows about the club culture, the fans would warm to him easier too. However, I wouldn't mind if Michael Laudrup gets it too. Well, I hope the Hammers board can sort out this merry-go-round circus by appointing the right man to lead them out of it. As a lifelong fan, I can only hope our time will come.
-kiam out-

The weather in Norway is getting harsher and harsher as the days goes by. There was some sunny days in August, but it's getting scarcer and the bitterly cold wind is starting to make DJ dM feel light headed. DJ dM has been out to sea and been exposed to the elements before, and the climate in Norway is not going to faze him.


Friday, August 15, 2008


ok, so I've left Singapore, flew 17 hours to Oslo, took a nap, and went to Spain, and back.

British Airways lived up to its name of being the crappiest national airline of a respectable (or so they believe) country. The seats are smaller than what you get on a Singapore-KL bus, it's a wonder how the Brits managed to squeeze into one seat, but most of them spill over a seat anyway, and they don't seem to mind. At least the airline provided us with 3 meals (had 2 breakfasts as they served one on the Singapore flight, and another one on the connecting flight). London Heathrow is quite amazing, from the underground network of tunnels to the security checks. And so I reached OSLO, which is crap.

My hostel in Oslo is Kringsja Studentby, but inside this "student village" there seem to be afew nurseries, old men and women, a sports club and some other weird people. There's a family (!)living 2 doors away from me! My neighbours come from Kenya (!) and Poland and another one maybe from Russia (she don't speak (!)).

I spent only a day in Oslo before jetting to Madrid. Ryanair has got to be one of the coolest airline on earth. The pilot did a 360 degrees u-turn on the spot and started the takeoff process right away! Then there was advertising message and sales pitch all the way from origin to destination. On the way there and on the way back, there were several turbulence that really made my balls shrank.

Madrid was fun, so was Barca, I wish I could write more, now I want to sleep. So stay tuned guys.

p.s. Click on the pictures on the right column to access my picasaweb photo album. It'll be updated more often than this blog.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Trees grow on money.

Air Ticket: $1,700
Travel Insurance: $245
Hostel Accommodation: $3,750
Transport: $600
Food: ~$2,500
Fun (Absolutely necessary)
Getting to and fro destination: $1,500
Food in destination: $1,000
Accommodation in destination: $1,200
Tickets to parks, musuems etc: $800

An experience of a lifetime: $13,295

No two ways about it. No, not even Mastercard.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

6 days

6 days till I go norway lei!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Fiestas de España

Planning for a summer has kicked off. What better place to start it off than a tour of the new European Champions! (thank God, Norway did not qualify for the Euros!)

Famous spaniards include Fernando Alonso (F1), Fernando Torres (Liverpoo), Salvador Dali (Art), Antonio Banderas (Hollywood), Raul (Real Madrid), Penelope Cruz (Hollywood), Vasco Nunez de Balboa (explorer, 1st European to sight the Pacific Ocean) and Dora the Explorer (the hottest chick in the whole of Spain). I can't believe in a month's time I'll be eating Paellas and drinking

Travel and accommodation details are basically settled. I will not reveal anything more at this point to ensure return readership.

While the prospect of roaming the streets of Madrid and Barcelona (maybe crawl the clubs of Ibiza? just maybe!) is attractive, I must admit that the preparation and planning for the trip is exceptionally rewarding! Spending hours over the computer looking for deals and sourcing out the dangers and pitfalls for travelling until one feels dizzy feels good. It's almost like travelling, but sitting in your house (or some fancy cafe), drinking your teh ping, eating your indomie! Now that the planning is almost done, it's time for the anticipation, and then the actual thing itself! Knowing that the dangers described is in no way preparation of the actual thing just adds to the chaos factor, nice eh?


Sunday, July 6, 2008

Non Nautical Nonsense

I'm getting serious about Norge.

I bought 2 tubes of toothpaste for it already.